My Lenten project in 2021 is to begin again; to revisit the Ignatian Exercises I discovered in 2014 and to mediate on where I’ve fallen short in empathy over the last few years. Rather than the dreary Catholic preoccupation with ‘missing the mark’, I prefer to just work on reminding myself what the mark looks like – in detail. Sometimes missing the mark is about having forgotten what the ideal is.
When I first found the Ignatian Exercises at mid-life, I mindfully went through some events and relationships from the past, and consciously and deliberately put myself in the shoes of the other person.
I spent a long time visualizing multiple encounters and conversations — in my theological imagination – and applied my reason to developing empathy. I imagined how that person would feel, think and reason in every problematic situation we had. This is what ENTPs have to do; we have to THINK our way to understanding ‘feeling’.
These Exercises were very effective for me and led to a lot of what I would call Vipassana insights, because I was paying attention to involuntary reactions; when I felt my face flush, a grimace, a knot in my stomach, tears, a laugh as I mentally walked through each memory. I combined this awareness of what was going in my body, having already understood how sensations relate to memories and thoughts, with the Christian-Catholic moral, evaluative perspective.
I was pretty impressed with myself for combining Buddhist methods concentration, silence with this Christian exercise. I waited YEARS to find a Catholic priest who would give me 30 minutes to let me explain. I thought the deluge of Christian imagery in my dreams and as meditation material meant something; now I understand archetypes better. Most of the cradle Catholics I met in my first years dismissed Buddhism as ‘pagan’, although – upon being questioned, I felt they misunderstood what it was about. This got me curious about which personality types gravitate to regular church attendance, and what it meant to them.
So, to recap, the Ignatian Exercises, plus a commitment to daily, extended periods of mindfulness and focused attention e.g. 40 minutes and attention to what empathy is will be my Lenten practice.
Also mediating on whether Christian ‘charity’, which has always felt a little patronizing to me, is the same thing as ‘compassion’?
Is that famous St Augustine saying, “My heart is restless ’til it rests in Thee” about empathy? That is, if we engage in metta bhavana or a conscious practice of empathy with a Catholic Christian moral lenses, can this lead us to that ‘peace that exceeds all understanding’? If I can manifest subtle compassion for myself, my teachers, my friends, the neutral ones and then my ‘enemies’, the classic metta sequence, is this the face of God? Is my face the face of God? Is this not Suchness (Tathagata) or the Ground of Being, or God?
I am not sure another Rosary recited vocally is as efficacious as intensified Ignatian Exercises. I am also exploring if and how Mysteries of the Rosary can lead to contemplative insight, or if it is mostly initial rote prayer, which (just?) establishes meditative concentration.